Sign me up!

I think I’d rather use super-glue.

KK

I know we joke around a whole lot on this site and that’s what we’re here for.

Artificial vaginas, Jenna Haze sex-bots, Kitten Killer’s masturbatory antics, all this.

But very soon something will be happening. We will be losing one of the members of what has become one of the events I look forward to above almost all else: our Monday Night PVE guild events. For quite a while, Rela, Burin, Grunog, Galstaff, (Glenbull when possible) and me have battled our way from the Barrens to Gnomeregan to Astranaar and all the way through Scarlet Monastery. In a short time, we’ve learned how to work together pretty well, even through Captain Wipe’s sometimes insane pulls and my lowest-level super-aggroing.

I know I’m the newest member of this little PVP-coven, but I wanted to take a moment to say this: Galstaff, we will miss you. In a very short time, on a game I swore I would never begin to play, you have become an irreplacable member of our group. (And I don’t just say that because we don’t have any other level 40 mages with Deviant Delights). We may always have five-man groups in the future, but no one will ever be able to fill the void that you will be leaving in our guild. You leave to do something important in the world, and we all wish you the best.

I know I’m the newest member of this little ‘family’ so to speak, but, if you’ll permit me one more moment of uncharacteristic sappiness, we wish you safe travels, and good health. You will be ever in our thoughts, well wishes, and prayers (even mine). If you don’t think that means a lot, ask KK.

On behalf of all the [foam] Pirates, stay safe and we will miss you.

~Hresh and Grunog

We now return you to your regularly scheduled masturbatory references and unintelligible rants.

Seems almost a week since we last met. Many things have happened since the last time we made love. I love you Friday. What’s happened you ask? Well, I’ll tell you Friday.

1) Yetuc may have a promotion! Of course this means more money for me to waste on Jenna Haze dolls, artificial vaginas and my unending addiction to Poptarts covered in Crisco. Can you put the artificial vagina in the Jenna Haze doll? Sounds possible. Love Pirate will get back to us on that one.

2) I had a major crap-filled Wednesday! Print Server upgrade went to hell. Oh well, glad I’m just the janitor. All I have to do is wash the floors, windows and ass of my superiors. Friday, aren’t you proud that I even know how to use a computer? Suppose I’m the super janitor of the Web! I was told that if I keep up the great job of cleaning my boss’s ass (and finishing with “the happy ending”), I could get a promotion myself. I could be the manager of the janitors. I will move up the ranks of Janitorium and take over the world! (Reminds me of Invader Zim episode where they do a occupation survey and Zim is placed at a Fast Food restaurant where he claims that he will move up the ranks to eventually take over the world.) I know you’re surprised that I even have time to watch TV since I have such a demanding job. I have my priorities!

3) I ate a bug on accident. It was a grasshopper I think. I mean, I can’t really be sure because I was blindfolded. Just FYI: If someone on a street corner that looks like a pimp says that they are doing auditions for the next “Fear Factor”, don’t believe them. God, I hope it was a bug.

4) X-men 3 comes out today. Of course you knew that didn’t you Friday. You know everything. Sadly I read a review with spoilers. Ugh, stupid me! So, wait till you see a movie before you read reviews.

Well that’s about what the week offered me. We have a long weekend and that is a great thing. I hope that each of us take a moment Monday and remember what the day is about. Memorial Day seems to mean nothing more than BIG SALES and other unimportant things. Where is the appreciation for all the lives that have been lost since our country was founded. It seems that we’ve lost the notion that we’re beatable. Just the thoughts of a janitor.

To all the foozles out there, have a great weekend. I hope that everyone has safe travels. Watch out for deeeerz. They are suicide prone creatures.

Now for fun links.

This is one great illusionist!
Houston, we have a problem.
It would take me days!
Wait for it… wait for it…
Use sunscreen.
American Dad Gyno

Holy Cow-Patties!

I understand being lonely. I understand being horny. What I don’t understand is why anyone would do something this stupid. Looks like in jail this guy is going to become what he shoplifted. All you other lonely, horny and crazy foozles take my advice:

Mr. Wienie say hello to Mr. Hand.

KK

Everyone loves summer camps. Don’t you think it’s time to take one? Why not go to Camp Cobra. Anyone wanna bunk with me?

KK

Ok. I really don’t know when LP’s birthday is because I’m to lazy of a friend to care, so I went ahead and ordered him these bad boys. Nothing says I think you’re a swell guy like “MANties”.

KK

What would you do if you bought a blow-up doll and it was stolen?

A) Go buy another Jenna Haze blow-up doll.
B) Pull out your back-up doll.
C) Go online and please yourself by looking at a female night elf dancing.
D) File a theft report with the local law enforcement and then claim that you had no idea what you were planning on doing with this doll that you purchased via mail solicitation.

If you said “D”, then there is a reason that you don’t have a girl/boy friend, stay up late at night eating gallons of ice cream all alone, call those slutty 1-900 numbers that come on USA After Dark, have back-up buckets of Vaseline, live in your parent’s basement, and can’t wait for the next Star Trek movie to come out. Oh, and that white stuff on your pillow ain’t icing.

Dude, you have some balls. I’ll give you that. But get a life! Do you REALLY think the cops want to search for finger prints near your apartment. You might actually have to take down your shrine of Lara Croft if they needed to come in, God forbid.

KK

My new phone is awesome.

I’m currently sitting in a Pizza Hut in Ruston, LA.

Search was good. Richardson is beautiful. Drive is shit.

We’ll be back tonight around 9:30.

KK better have the mess cleaned up when I get home.

Why do I feel like the kid whose parents left him alone in charge of the house for the weekend? LOVE PIRATE IS GONE! MUHAHAHA! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT!

Back to random news of goodness. Remember my previous post about how I would let Logitech probe me like the aliens from X Files? Well I got my mouse in today. I was expecting another mouse just wrapped in bubble wrap and stuff. “Here’s your new mouse man. Stop breaking them.” But when I opened the box, they had sent me a completely new retail box w/ mouse! This satisfies two quirks of mine: New stuff and opening packaged items. I’m sitting here drooling over it. Thank God it’s still in the box. It would be soggy. I’m so in love with this mouse.

So, here’s your Friday game o’ da day mon.

Final Fortress

Enjoy!

KK

Okay, pirate devotees.

I’m out for the next couple days to try and find a domicile in Dallas.

STay as long as you like. Play a few games, leave a few comments. Just make sure you turn out the lights as you leave and make sure KK’s face up. His snoring keeps up the neighbors when he passes out.

If you all behave, eat your vegetables, and say your prayers at night, I may post some pictures of the apartments we look at tomorrow.

Be good until I get back.

~Love Pirate